What Does It Really Mean to Be a Gee-noon Redneck?

Hillbilly Redneck

Seen in one way, the Blue Collar Comedy Troupe is a collection of comedians that just happen to share the same comedic style and accent. From another perspective, they’re a kind of celebration of a lifestyle that, while not for everyone nor without its less respectable moments, still has a great deal to teach millennials, yuppies, fashionistas, foodies and snobs of all kinds.

The source of most of their jokes - they’ve said this themselves - is their own lives. Certainly, there’s a lot of hyperbole and facts that wouldn’t necessarily be repeated in a court of law, but their kind of humor is still firmly rooted in reality. Instead of turning to politics, movies or winged unicorns for inspiration, they like to talk about their families, things they’ve seen happen or the unfortunate effects alcohol can have on them - often with a surprising lack of self-consciousness. When Jeff Foxworthy defines a redneck as someone with “a glorious lack of sophistication,” he’s probably talking about anyone who’s happy to settle for being unpretentious.

Vanity, Thy Name Is Yankee

“You might be a redneck if you wear a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn’t.”

There are contexts in which people will legitimately frown on the wearing of flip-flops, but really, what’s wrong with dressing casually in public? If you’re spending 20 minutes getting ready for a trip to Walmart, you might want to reconsider where it is you’re planning to meet your future husband.

Here’s a secret, ladies: most men don’t know the difference between satin and velvet. We don’t really care if your pantyline is showing, and we will never, ever look to see if your toenails are painted. Just being yourself is pretty generally all we want.

Catfish Caviar Taste Like Fish Eggs

“You might be a redneck if you think a turtleneck is a key ingredient for soup.”

Your mileage may vary, but very often the difference between the restaurant in a trendy hotel and a Louisiana cook shack is that the former serves minuscule portions at insane prices and they have enough cutlery for all different dishes to take on a gator with.

There’s nothing wrong with admitting that you prefer pulled pork sandwiches to steak tartare. Top chefs like fast food too, so if your main concern is the alimentary absorption of sustenance, you really don’t have to pretend that you want avocado toast.

Not Keeping up with Them Joneseses

“You know you’re a redneck if the neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.”

You know that family in that house on your street that seems to have the perfect life? Chances are: they really don’t. They might easily have a far trickier budget than you do, fight all the time (just quietly) and struggle with all the same “pants on one leg at a time” issues everyone has.

Why are people obsessed with showing off their wealth (even if everything from the new BMW to their haircuts is bought on credit) and generally try to present themselves as better off than they actually are? It’s one thing if owning a nice car and keeping your garden in shape is something that makes you happy. If, however, you’re spending time, money and energy on making other people jealous, you might be the opposite of a redneck.

Marrying Yer Cousin and Other Perspectives on Lovin’

“You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.”

There’s a certain kind of romantic relationship believed in mostly by people whose intellectual diet has a a lot of vitamin TV in it: both partners act reasonably all most of the time, love each other enough to forgive all flaws, fulfill one another daily - basically, a romance between two soap opera stars brought to life.

I personally have never ever experienced anything like this, much less witnessed it. I’m far more used to the kind of relationship the Blue Collar folks describe: two imperfect people living together in imperfect circumstances but still trying to make the best of it. Real couples fight, refuse to do their share of the housework and sometimes behave like prize a-holes, but still find enough love to make staying worth it. Expecting everything to be perfect in a relationship is a sure route to disappointment; taking the bad with the good and being able to joke about it is a sign of maturity.